And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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