he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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