I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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