You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
