I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just had sex on a roof
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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