I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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