i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
