what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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