walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
