We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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