You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
