Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
