I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
