you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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