Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
