Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need water and some morals
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
