i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
