Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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