i barfeds in our rink
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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