Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
