Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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