Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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