WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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