I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
operation harelip BJ is a go
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
