Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
