i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
