i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
