Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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(847): View more from Illinois

cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me

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(716): View more from New York

Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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(817): View more from Texas

I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

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(440): View more from Ohio

no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

(1+44): View more from

It's a podium place so yeah...

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

(863): View more from Florida

I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

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(219): View more from Indiana

My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.

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(315): View more from New York

You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests

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