he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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