DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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