I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize