It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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