what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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