If i come over, it means nothing
actually, I'm a sock model
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
