you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
