for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
