she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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