Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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