you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
