know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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