I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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