i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
