I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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