How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
