i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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