making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize