By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
