I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
