So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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