doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
birth control should be required to get into college
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize