Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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