My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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