i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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