my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish i was in the wii world.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
