I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize