I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
