You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
