i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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