Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
