i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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