I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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