Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
