My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
