This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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