Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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