nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
