I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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