Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize