Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize