no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
