I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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