Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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