In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize