Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
