im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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