i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
