i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
this will be a night to untag.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
