I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize