If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
