Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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